September 2nd, 2014

Ask Ellie

Hard lesson in dealing with transferred blame

By Ellie Tesher on September 2nd, 2014

Q: I wish I’d read things you’ve written, about people in relationships being wrongly accused of negative behaviours, a couple of decades ago! My sister started confronting me on how I offended her, yet she appeared to be doing what she was accusing me of. I was constantly... Read More »

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Negative pattern in relationship needs study

By Ellie Tesher on August 30th, 2014

Q: I’m mid 30s, divorced two years ago. My ex-wife’s from a different culture, but speaks fairly good English. I left her because we fought a lot, there were many cultural differences, and she kept spending more and more on unnecessary luxuries. Besides lacking ambition and not working,... Read More »

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Avoid heartache with counselling

By Ellie Tesher on August 29th, 2014

Part Two of leftover questions from my online chat, “Why People Cheat” (July 30): Q: I’m a man who cheated because it was easy, and I was too pumped up from it to think where it could lead. I was with my wife since high school, but... Read More »

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Search for a clue as to why you ‘never connected’

By Ellie Tesher on August 28th, 2014

Following are leftover questions from my online chat, Why People Cheat (July 30): Q: My wife cheated on me. I was in a different world, never saw it coming. She kept telling me they were just good friends but hung out all the time. She started spending more... Read More »

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Wife can’t seem to find happiness in anything

By Ellie Tesher on August 23rd, 2014

Q: I love my wife of 20 years very much. We have two beautiful kids; but my wife can’t seem to find happiness in anything, and is very unforgiving and often harsh towards them and me. I know she loves me but she seldom demonstrates that. Her self-esteem... Read More »

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Husband needs therapy to deal with mixed emotions

By Ellie Tesher on August 22nd, 2014

Q: My husband of 12 years and I have had major difficulties in recent years. He’s experienced headaches and pains with no medical cause found. We’ve suffered three deaths in our family, including my husband’s grandfather who raised him. Later that month (January), my husband met someone... Read More »

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Family requires maturity

By Ellie Tesher on August 16th, 2014

Q: I’m a male, wondering how to know if I’m ready to get married and have kids? My girlfriend of four-and-a half-years is turning 40 in a few years (I’m eight years younger than her). The topic of marriage and especially kids has become an issue. This is... Read More »

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Deadline for dating creates risks

By Ellie Tesher on August 15th, 2014

Q: I’m male, single, 27, and recently attended a summer family gathering. The first and most common question immediately asked by several extended family members whom I only see once every few years, was if I’m dating or in a relationship. At this point, I’m so content being... Read More »

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Despite affair, marriagestill has a chance

By Ellie Tesher on August 13th, 2014

Q- It’s 11 months since I discovered my spouse’s affair. Months of couples’ counselling and sincere efforts to rebuild our marriage, yet there are still lingering doubts, inability to trust, and discomfort with intimacy. Her affair lasted for several years, but our relationship was long foundering before then... Read More »

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Readers discuss what makes a good relationship

By Ellie Tesher on August 12th, 2014

Part Two of questions left over from my online chat, “What’s a Good Relationship?” (July 16): Q: I think my fiancŽ and I are very well matched – we have the same level of education, good jobs, and we both want to have children. The part I’m unsure... Read More »

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