Former MLA recounts personal struggle with domestic violence

By Alejandra Pulido-Guzman - Lethbridge Herald on November 26, 2022.

Herald photo Maria Fitzpatrick speaks about her experience with domestic violence during Thursday's SACPA session.

LETHBRIDGE HERALDapulido@lethbridgeherald.com

The Southern Alberta Council on Public Affairs welcomed Maria Fitzpatrick to their Thursday session to speak about domestic violence and share her own story.

The presentation was titled Domestic Violence: Why has the Silence Continued? Fitzpatrick was the MLA for Lethbridge East from 2015-2019 and has been a teacher, recreation supervisor, coach, parole officer, policy analyst and was the regional executive vice-president of her labour union.

Fitzpatrick discussed the importance of having difficult conversations surrounding the topic, acknowledging the subject matter is an uncomfortable topic for many, but that was the point. She said she wanted those in attendance to be uncomfortable, because those conversations are necessary to break the silence.

“We need to have the conversations if we are going to make any changes,” said Fitzpatrick to the media before her presentation.

She said she speaks about the topic in hopes that it will continue to create awareness and those in domestic violence situations find the courage to reach out.

“When I spoke at the legislature, thousands of people reached out to me, both men and woman and a number of kids that were in homes where domestic violence was occurring,” said Fitzpatrick.

She said she wants to open the door to conversation, as well as open the door to action.

Fitzpatrick said domestic violence affects people 15 to 89 years of age according to statistics.

She said domestic violence is not specific to those in intimate relationships, it can affect anyone in the family which is why children and seniors are included in those statistics. She added that it is important to have places where people can go to for help, organizations like the Harbour House Women’s Emergency Shelter.

“If we didn’t have shelters many women and children would be dead. I cannot put it any more bluntly than that,” said Fitzpatrick.

During her presentation she talked about the abuse she suffered at the hands of her first husband while living in Newfoundland and how she left multiple times but was forced to go back.

“Three times I left with my kids, twice I went to shelters and twice I was forced to return to the abuse or live on the street. Both times I returned and the violence got worse,” said Fitzpatrick.

She said she suffered broken bones, black eyes, sexual assault, and two miscarriages as a result of the ongoing abuse.

Fitzpatrick explained that she had to go back to the abuse because the stay at the shelters was limited and she had to care for her two daughters and couldn’t have chosen the streets, even though they would have probably been safer.

“I knew I had to do something, I got away to a women’s shelter and tried to figure out what to do and where to go, but I could only stay for two weeks. I was forced to return,” said Fitzpatrick.

She said the second time she left she felt more prepared as she had been able to save some money and had called a lawyer.

“When I saw the chance to run, I ran again. This time to a different shelter where we could stay for three weeks. But when I saw the lawyer, we couldn’t get a court date for a month, and again we were forced to return,” said Fitzpatrick.

She said at that point the violence was so bad she thought they were going to killed, especially one time when she had a gun pointed at her head and she heard the click of the hammer as her abuser pulled the trigger.

“There were no bullets in the gun, he laughed hysterically. He beat me and raped me and said the next time there would be bullets,” said Fitzpatrick.

She said he got arrested but released shortly after and after she returned home from court he had her daughters and his own mother at gun point. After four hours he left the house and they were able to barricade themselves. And after several days, she was finally able to leave the city with her daughters.

After sharing her experience she shared some warning signs on how to recognize an abusive relationship. Some included constantly demanding to know where the other person is, what they are doing, and who they are with, as well as telling them who they can and cannot talk to, monitoring their phone calls, texts, emails or social media. Insisting on making their partner have sex when they do not want to, or insisting they take part in sexual activities that they dislike or cause them pain.

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