Executors can face steep challenges dealing with the loss of a loved one

By Justin Seward - Lethbridge Herald on June 11, 2022.

Herald photo by Justin Seward Ken Wallace, Cornerstone Funeral Home prearrangement counselor, presents "9 Struggles of Executors" during the LSCO Live Well Showcase.

Travis Zentner and Ken Wallace of Cornerstone Funeral Home presented “9 Struggles Executors Face” as a part of the Lethbridge Senior Citizens Organization’s Live Well Showcase on Thursday.

“So it’s taking a real-life story that’s actually happened to not just one person but several people in the past and culminating that with talking about how to best prepare your estate before passing a course,” said Zentner.

“To take those ahead of time and sort of plan them out and this is sort of trying to light a fire under people’s butts to plan beforehand, so their families don’t have to deal with the stressors after.”

Zentner said the struggles happen all the time.

“We see it on a daily basis at our funeral home,” he said.

“So, it’s the idea of bringing those to light; so people get it right. Death is not a fun subject to talk about – like it’s really not – but people are here in droves today and just coming out of COVID, it’s one of those things that people are excited to hear this information.”

The first struggle talked about was unpredictability of death.

“It is important to know what you have for coverage and secondly most of the plans out there are what they call reimbursement only,” said Wallace.

“And that means that your executor would have to deal with a loss …and everything would need to be paid for up front and you may get a good portion of it back after the fact and so you have to coordinate with the airlines. And so you have to do everything and pay for everything upfront and then try to collect the money afterwards – you don’t want that kind of plan, really. You want a plan that pays for everything upfront and takes care of each step along the way and there’s some out there.”

Wallace said the Purple Shields, who he is licensed with as well, do offer a plan that will take care of everything, wherever you travel for however long for the rest of your life and it’s a one-time $600.

Funeral home struggles was the second point.

“Number one, they might not know what mom and dad wanted,” said Wallace.

“People like to avoid talking about that and particularly the kids, you’ve been trying to have a discussion with them and they’ll put you off, saying ‘No, we don’t want to talk about that.’

Questions often debated include do mom and dad want a burial, should there be a family gathering, what kind of urn or casket would mom and dad want, what are the appropriate costs, would they want something really elaborate or happy with simple, and how is it paid for?

“So, of course, those kinds of disagreements rarely stay confined to just the parties involved,” said Wallace.

“They kind of morph out and spread throughout the family and you can develop two different sides or lines of thought and that’s how conflict can escalate. So even with very simple cremations, there’s a ton of decisions that need to be made.”

Do you have a will was the third category and Wallace reminded the crowd if they do, review it, and do they remind their executor where it is located?

“We typically say on average every five to 10 years or whenever there’s a significant change in your life – change with finances or events in your family that are different than when you developed your will – that’s the time that you should be checking up and making adjustments as needed,” said Wallace.

When it came to the fourth point, Wallace said the answer is to stop those consuming searches and getting organized, especially for your kid’s sake.

Legal requirements was the fifth struggle of an estate settlement.

Wallace said one of the fastest growing types of insurance in Canada now is executor insurance.

“So more and more executors are concerned that they may be sued by a disgruntled beneficiary for not fulfilling their duties correctly,” he said.

“And there are many helps for executors out there or you can access information. There are guides available at Staples, you can hire the services of a lawyer, or banks and credit unions have specials that will provide information.”

Wallace said make sure your family is familiar with legal requirements as well.

He then went on to the sixth struggle of immediate bills and that executors are often surprised at the flurry of estate bills that come.

Bills could include rent, lawyer, utilities to name a few.

“Who’s responsible and has to look after all those costs? Your executor is,” said Wallace.

“They’re the ones that have to manage that part of the estate settlement. So you don’t want your executor having to cover those costs with their credit card; it’s not fair really to them and yet more and more executors are forced to do just that and so it’s becoming more and more common for banks to freeze accounts until probate is completed. So you can have a million-dollar estate but all that money could still be tied up and the executor left with handling rent and whatever else over a period of months.”

Wallace said one solution that people may not be aware of that is available to your executor after you pass away is you can set up a little fund for estate bills.

Piles of paper work comes in as the seventh struggle.

“Cornerstone offers a final document service as well, which is another add-on type of service where we have a person at the funeral home, Trish Wallace, focuses on assisting people after the fact with how to take care of cancelling cards and she’s done it a million times,” he said.

Number eight is rising funeral costs.

Wallace’s solution is to set things up ahead of time to pre-pay for your cremation or burial.

The last struggle is fading memories and remembering the stories and Cornerstone offers an online black box where people can organize stories.