Drug treatment court a road to recovery for graduate
By Delon Shurtz - Lethbridge Herald on June 22, 2022.
LETHBRIDGE HERALDdshurtz@lethbridgeherald.com
Jacob Peddle doesn’t take anything for granted these days; not his job, his fiancé or just the fact that he’s alive.
The 20-year-old Claresholm resident counts his blessings every day, and is looking forward to November when his pregnant fiancé has their first baby. He plans to buy a truck this summer and to eventually buy a home and start his own business.
“My plans right now are to focus on my family and focus on my career,” the construction worker says.
Only a few years ago, however, Peddle didn’t have any plans beyond selling drugs and supporting his drug addiction. He made lots of money and he was, he admits, an “absolutely horrible” person who didn’t care about anything, anyone or where his life was headed.
“Honestly, I didn’t care. Everyone around me was concerned, but I did not care at all. I was using an ounce of meth a day and I really didn’t see a problem with it, at the time.”
Peddle was only 13 years old when he and a few friends decided to try cannabis at a “buddy’s” house in Claresholm, but within a few years he was using far more serious drugs.
“I got into the heavier stuff at about 16 years old. That woulda been when I tried everything under the sun, outside of fentanyl and heroin. My main issue was meth.”
Peddle doesn’t believe marijuana is a gateway drug, because he used it and more serious drugs for entirely different reasons.
“When I was using marijuana, it was sort of for enjoyment, whereas when I was using methamphetamine it was usually to stay awake or to feel numb. For me marijuana was a happy drug, whereas meth was something that I used to try and help self-medicate myself out of a depressed, suicidal state.”
Despite his willingness to use other drugs, Peddle never tried heroin or fentanyl because in 2018 his best friend’s brother, whom he considered to be his brother, as well, overdosed on those drugs. That tragedy didn’t dissuade Peddle from continuing to use drugs, and actually had the opposite effect.
“I had started using meth with him, but after he passed away is when I started using much more heavily, as well as when I started selling and really got into crime.”
By the summer of 2019 Peddle was disassociated from his family. He didn’t have anywhere to call home, he had to constantly couch surf, and he was in a toxic relationship with a girl who ultimately died of a drug overdose.
“I didn’t care at the time, but a huge (struggle) that impacted me more than I had even any clue, was not having my family in my life. I pushed them away.”
Peddle says he cared more about drugs than his own family and “severely traumatized” them with his drug use and lifestyle. He also cared more about drugs than his own health, which drastically declined. He is six feet tall and currently weighs 215 pounds, but during the height of his addiction he weighed 114 pounds and slept only a few hours a week.
“Something I struggle with a lot now is memory loss. I have the most horrible memory that you could imagine, even after almost two years without that drug. And there’s a lot of things that happened during my addiction that I don’t remember at all. And I only know that happened based off of stories that I’m told by my family.”
About the only thing from which he didn’t suffer during his addiction was poverty. His only income was from selling drugs or the proceeds of crime, but that provided him with plenty of money and a comfortable lifestyle. He wore brand name clothes and could buy vehicles with cash.
“I had enough money to have whatever I want whenever I wanted it. Financially I was doing great.”
Does he regret giving that up for a clean and sober life? Not for a moment.
“I would never trade the life that I have today for that money. I never would, not a chance. I have considerably less money now than I did then, but I have the life that I could, at that time, never imagine having. And I would never give that up for anything.”
Contrary to popular opinion, drug addiction is not a disease, Peddle says, and anyone can kick the addiction, just like he did. But it will be a struggle and far from easy in most cases.
“Even in the worse case scenarios, someone who is physically dependent on a substance, it is still your decision to do something about it. And once you get off of it, and the withdrawals stop, it is then your decision whether or not you put it in your body again. I’m not saying it’s an easy decision by any means, but it is still up to you.”
Peddle says addicts need to find a purpose and reason to stop. Many people, Peddle suggests, struggle because they don’t have a purpose in life. They don’t know where they’re going or who they are without the drugs.
“So without having a reason or a purpose or some sort of meaning to your life, you’ll never get off. You need to find what drives you; what do you want more than the drugs?”
Peddle’s life of drugs and crime ultimately caught up with him. Claresholm RCMP arrested him on Easter Sunday, April 12, 2020, and charged him with drug possession for the purpose of trafficking meth and cocaine, and possession of a weapon for a dangerous purpose. Police seized drugs, a cellphone, scales and Baggies; all the paraphernalia used to sell drugs, but what nailed the lid on his coffin were the text messages and call history on his phone, as well as his bank statements.
A couple of months later Peddle stopped using meth, selling drugs and engaging in criminal activity. He was in a healthy relationship with his girlfriend Рnow fianc̩ and main motivation to overcome his drug addiction Рfound a full-time construction job, and began building a better life.
Then he had to leave it all or risk going to jail.
Although his weapon and cocaine charges were ultimately dropped, he still faced the meth charge, and that meant jail, or possibly even federal prison. He was given the opportunity to enroll in drug treatment court, but it meant moving to Lethbridge and leaving his friends and supports, and taking medical leave from his job. He wasn’t even allowed to have a cellphone.
“It was extremely difficult. Likely the most difficult thing that I have ever done in my life.”
At least once a week for the first six months of his participation in drug treatment court he considered quitting. It took him a long time to buy into the program and he struggled with the restrictions and conditions with which he had to live.
He participated in a 15-week residential treatment program, and he had to take various courses and attend a minimum of three, two-hour recovery meetings a week. He had to provide a minimum of 125 volunteer hours and actually completed 135 hours, and he had to find a job and arrange a place to live. He also had to, over the course of a year, undergo trauma therapy and see a psychologist and an addictions counsellor.
“But that wasn’t even all that went into it,” Peddle adds. “There was also drug screening, which at one point was five days a week; constantly having to check in with your PO (probation officer); constantly checking in with your case manager; constantly going to court.”
And during it all, Peddle returned to high school, and will graduate at the end of the month.
Although he credits his fiance for providing a lot of his motivation to not give up, there were other reasons why he persevered.
“Having my life back; that was my main driving force, I would say. And not having to worry about going to jail.”
And constantly in his mind was the reward after it was all over.
“This program sucks, this program is really hard, and this is really uncomfortable for me right now,” he thought throughout, “but I need to do this in order to have the life that I want and deserve.”
After successfully completing the 16-month process, Peddle still had to face the consequences of his criminal charge of drug possession for the purpose of trafficking. But instead of a prison term, and because of his hard work, Peddle received a suspended sentence and 12 months probation, and had the distinction of becoming the first graduate of the Lethbridge drug treatment court, which opened in November of 2020 and was the third drug treatment court in Alberta, after Edmonton and Calgary.
“Our purpose is to reduce drug abuse for the participants of the program, with a goal of abstinence,” Judge Sylvia Oishi said during Peddle’s graduation ceremony earlier this month at the Lethbridge Courthouse. “We give them the opportunity to become productive, contributing members in our society.”
The program also aims to restore justice by reducing repeated criminal activity and victimization, and to even reduce costs in the justice system. But it’s mostly about changing lives.
“Jacob, I won’t be the first or the last to tell you today how proud we are of you, and I’d like to thank you for giving us a cause to celebrate,” Oishi said.
Oishi pointed out judges and and lawyers don’t see a lot of “good outcomes” at the courthouse, at least not the kind of outcomes that everyone can celebrate.
“We’ve seen a lot of young men whose lives are wasted on drugs and committing crimes and going to jail, and then doing it all over again. And it’s a tragedy we see played out in this courthouse day in and day out. There have been times when all of us lose hope, in thinking there might not be a solution to it all.”
However, Oishi expressed hope because of the drug treatment court and society’s better understanding of addiction. She also recognized Peddle for his effort to change his life.
“I’m thankful to you, Jacob, for your commitment to yourself and to this program; to have done all the hard work you’ve done for fifteen and a half months to turn your life around, and to show everyone that it can be done. You stand for everything this program was meant to achieve.”
Peddle believes that because he was able to overcome his addiction and change his life, anyone can. And while it won’t be easy, it will be worth it.
“You’re not going to be able to half-ass your way into recovery or sobriety,” he says. “If you want to get off drugs you need to really want that and put your full focus onto that.”
Peddle urges those who struggle with drug addiction to reach out for help and reconnect with supportive people in their lives who are not using drugs, and find reasons to succeed. And he urges those who are standing on the outside looking in and don’t understand what it’s like to be addicted, to not judge. Â
“Just be glad that you don’t know. I frankly would not wish that upon anyone. If you don’t know, you are blessed, and I hope that nobody that thinks that way ever has to find out what it’s like, because it is hell.”
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