What not to give Mom this Mother’s Day

By Lethbridge Herald on May 9, 2025.

Al Beeber
Lethbridge Herald

Mother’s Day is upon us on Sunday, which means florists will be busy today and tomorrow making special bouquets and other stores will be selling gift cards by the dozens.

Ah, gift cards, the present that says so much, specifically a lack of creativity and effort. But some really love them – Liz, for instance. She doesn’t want flowers from her son on Sunday, she doesn’t want someone to make her breakfast because the house knows how fastidious she is about cleaning and she’ll end up doing it to make sure it’s done right.

She will be hoping early Sunday morning- while avoiding fresh  chihuahua pee on one of the strategically placed pads in the house enroute to the Kuerig machine – that Dylan bought her a gift card, preferably from Homesense, her favourite store as the living room, kitchen and bathrooms will attest. And Diana, too, since she wears a pink Homesense-purchased sweater on chilly days.

Reading about this may inspire other fellas – young or older – to go the easy route and head to their favourite grocery store to grab a handful of gift cards, a nice bag and a sappy Mother’s Day card and  have the whole process of shopping for Mother’s Day completed quicker than a Montreal Canadiens playoff run. I would have said Leafs but lo and behold they’re atually still playing in May.

I personally cringe at gift cards because they seem so impersonal. Shopping for an occasion like this should take some effort and thought. One memory I will die regretting is buying a hair blower for Liz one Christmas, the cord of which could have been used to strangle  me. It was a stocking stuffer, mind you, but I know where she wanted to stuff it.

So for this column, I got thinking about what potentially are the worst presents a mom could have bestowed upon her on Sunday, just to warn guys about what to avoid.

According to a Google search, there are a few.

Following the lines of the hair dryer, a vacuum isn’t such a great  idea either. It’s actually probably a whole lot worse. Because nothing says that mom is appreciated by giving her a tool to clean up everyone else’s mess which she’s probably going to do on Sunday anyway. Even  without a chihuahua in the house.

Another one to avoid is wrinkle cream! That’ll go good when mom crawls out of bed still exhausted from the previous week because the birds  are chirping and a neighbour is cutting the lawn at 7 a.m. Nothing  like reminding mom that she’s not actually getting better but in  reality, just older. And it shows so slather on that cream! Dudes, don’t do it. Unless it’s a joke. And then go do 36 holes of golf so she has time to see the humour in it.

And keeping with that theme, just don’t – seriously, don’t if you  value your life – wrap a fancy frying pan, mixer, microwave, or knives, the latter especially. Avoid the knives. Have a great day,  mom. Got stuff for you to cook better with. That’s all she needs. And that’s the message cookwear sends.

Diet products or fitness gear are also another big no. Yes, all mom needs to see on her special day is a hint that she needs to burn even  more calories during the day in addition to the ones exerted working, cleaning, cooking, working some more or constantly reminding family  she didn’t see hats, keys, cellphones or homework. Yeah, mom, get on the treadmill – it’ll get rid of your stress! No, refraining from buying dumb presents willlower the stress.

Apparently, buying clothes isn’t such a great idea either, the reason being that moms may not share the same tastes as their kids or partners who may not know for sure mom’s size. After all, nothing is  less flattering than a robe three sizes too big or even worse, too  small.

And from a lesson learned by a friend who made the worst mistake ever buying his wife tickets to a Green Bay Packers game in December as an  anniversary present, I agree that sports tickets are a definite no. Even though mom may like beer and hot dogs, Mother’s Day should be a  little classier. And warmer than an outdoor stadium on a cold day.

According to one website flowers and plants are the gifts most often purchased for Mother’s Day, constituting 59 per cent of all sales for this occasion but are they even that practical given how busy everyone is with their daily lives. Flowers are pretty but they also say “I’m gonna die in two days.” Not exactly a lasting memento.

Perhaps the best gift of all on Sunday is letting mom choose what she  wants to do – theoretically spending time with family or maybe her  besties. It’s her day, after all. Let her know that she’s appreciated  and valued. That could be the best gift of all.