Your 2023 guide to Newspeak
By Lethbridge Herald on January 4, 2023.
Bruce3 Dowbiggin
One of the best ways to explain 2022’s rapidly devolving world is to suggest that for men, life is sports. For women, however, life is culture.
After a sustained reign where sports ruled the nations, culture has become paramount in the past generation – and with it, the power of women and their hashtags such as #metoo #heforshe #equalpay.
One way that culture changed was the appropriation of language by political actors like BLM, Redstockings and Lavender Menace to advance radical policies. Why use a clear, simple word when a bastard child of Groupthink will do?
Climate newspeak (“Global Governance”) may be the most execrable landing spot for mangling language, but many other departments of WokeInc® are not far behind.
So as 2022 flickers, let us resolve to clarify the language and, by doing so, clarify the culture. There’s lots to unpack here.
Incitement: The Left’s Frank’s Red Hot Sauce. They pour it on everything to raise the temperature.
Consider the Jan. 6 committee or the Hunter Biden denialists, for instance. In the former, it was incitement that Trump’s populist speeches whipped up an unarmed mob to enter Congress and sit in Nancy Pelosi’s office. In the latter, it was to protect teammates on the Left from being identified as the ones protecting the Biden Crime Family. ABC TV grandee Martha Raddatz used incitement to blame those who reported on border chaos for alerting the world to how easy it is to walk into America under the Biden administration.
Effective Altruism (EA): Effective Altruism is the polite term for the cancerous movement now consuming corporate, government, arts and sports organizations. It’s Newspeak for “making me feel virtuous with your money.”
In 2022 Disney thought EA enabled them to go full LGBTQ with “a minimum of 50 per cent of characters to be LGBTQIA and racial minorities”. Oops. They were reduced to full-stop in Florida by Governor Ron DeSantis. By year-end, the Effective Altruism Disney CEO was out, and veteran CEO Bob Iger was back. But we’re not holding our breath that other companies being consumed by the Social Justice Warrior (SJW) virus and its acronyms will take the cure.
Pivoting: What used to be known as correcting our mistakes.
So when two-time offender Justin Trudeau or his ministers fail at ethics he pivots by saying, “From my perspective, it sucks. Because you don’t want people to be making mistakes, you want people to be able to focus on delivering good things for Canadians.” Riii-ight.
ESG: Or green extortion. Environmental, Social, and Governance scores are the scourge of modern boardrooms who pursue them like Meghan Markle after a Royal title. The death of shareholder value so the Human Resources staff can score Brownie points at the next Human Rights Impact Assessment convention at Big Sur. Naturally, Justin thinks this is progress.
“We Are Where We Are”: We screwed up. But we won’t hold those responsible to blame. Hey, look at that shiny object!
Employee advocacy: The assumption of executive functions by Millennials in a company. Can mean everything from promoting the product online to SJWs holding companies hostage to their tender sensibilities. The recent Elon Musk Twitter revelations are perfect illustrations; indulged staffers threatened to hold their breaths if Trump was re-platformed. Luckily Elon told them to pound sand. Used to be called “inmates running the asylum,” but that’s way too harsh for the safe-space generation.
The Glass Ceiling: Popularized by Hillary Clinton in her 2016 kamikaze run at the presidency, it now is an object against which any woman like Kamala Harris can be hurled into history for the cause of #womenempowerment. Which seems like a good idea, literally. Figuratively, not so much.
Literally: Speaking of literally, we literally die every time a Karine Jean Pierre character literally uses this word to mean actually or really. Stop it. Now. (Karine, for those of you who may not know, or care, is the White House press secretary.)
Nichey: This is a clever-ism for an idea that is so preposterous it can support only the massive ego of its creator.
Bougie: From bourgeois. Used to describe someone who takes on the airs of a higher socioeconomic class. Which ironically describes all Millennials and Gen-Xers who use bougie as a pejorative to boost their Tik-Tok status.
Ideate: The verb form of having an idea. Beneath contempt. But that doesn’t stop its use in U.S. Senator Elizabeth Warren’s universe.
Iterate: To repeat a function until you get it right. Sort of like #Russiagate for the Left.
Fire: One who is exceptionally cool or great. It also stands for “Financial Independence, Retire Early,” which pretty much sums up the Wolf of Wall Street entitlement generation.
Bi-gendered/ Cross-dresser/ Drag King/ Femme Queen/ Gender Bender/ Genderqueer/ Non-Op/ HIJRA/ Pangender/ Transexual-Transsexual/ Trans Person/ Gender Gifted/ Butch/ Two-Spirit/ Androgyne/ Person of Transgender Experience: Among the 76 genders now recognized in blue states. If you don’t see your niche ID you pay a $450 filing fee to start a new one. If you can’t afford the fee, you can ask the court to waive it. If you’re confused by any of this, you’re a racist. Or something.
Bae: The loving acronym for Before Anyone Else. Like Justin’s reflection in his mirror.
FOMO: Fear of missing out. Which probably explains most of the above. Life is a club used to beat the Untouchables.
Zelenskyy: A noun and a verb. Both mean surrender. Your $90 billion cheque is in the mail.
Bruce Dowbiggin is the editor of Not The Public Broadcaster. A two-time winner of the Gemini Award as Canada’s top television sports broadcaster, he’s a regular contributor to Sirius XM Canada Talks Ch. 167. Inexact Science: The Six Most Compelling Draft Years In NHL History, his new book with his son Evan, was voted the eighth best professional hockey book by bookauthority.org. His 2004 book Money Players was voted seventh best.
© Troy Media
29-28
Bruce, you seem like a complete pessimistic A-hole. Glad I’ve never met or heard of you before.